


Not a Question

by Ritt



Category: Sweet Elite (Visual Novel)
Genre: F/F, Temporarily Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:48:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24236029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ritt/pseuds/Ritt
Summary: It’s not about significance or meaninglessness; it’s about filling your mind with other people until there’s no place for that one person.
Relationships: Karolina/Scholar
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	Not a Question

Asking each other questions never ends well for them, so they don’t. Speaking with each other rarely ends well too, but there are things you can’t help doing again and again, like a guilty pleasure.

~

Sybil doesn’t have a heart to think about them, the two rising stars; but she doesn’t have a heart to rip Karolina out of her mind either. What does it matter? You stop looking at the sky, but it’s still there, and you can’t escape it forever.

She scoffs as she rocks from side to side, standing on her bed with music deafening her from the earphones. Bad day. Bad thoughts. Bad luck of catching feelings for someone who blushes as pretty as argues.

Sybil groans and flops down on the bed. Rage fills her body, urging her to do something, anything.

She closes her eyes.

She’s a fool. What’s there to do for a fool.

~

Sybil starts breaking the rules of their play.

Fools are good at breaking rules.

~

“…Karol.”

“Don’t call me that.”

Spring has come with a sunny weather, but it’s still chill enough that students stay inside the dorms. Not Karolina, apparently. Sybil is not sure who found who: she’d come to the cafeteria first, but Karolina made a beeline for the lounge before her even though she could guess Sybil would go there too.

Sybil turns her head to look at Karolina who’s reading a book beside her. Amusement tints Sybil’s tone, “You haven’t listened to me, have you?”

Karolina snorts. “No. Why do you ask if you know the answer?”

A sly smile pulls at Sybil’s lips. “I enjoy hearing you speak.”

Karolina stutters as a blush colors her cheeks. “N-nonsense,” her voice breaks, and she winces. “ _I_ don’t like when you speak. Why don’t you keep quiet or go bother someone else? Can’t you see I’m occupied?”

“What do you like then?”

Karolina exhales, relaxing a bit. “I like when you’re silent.”

Sybil chuckles and leans forward. “So you like me then.”

Karolina chokes on the air, snapping her eyes away. “Dream on.”

 _I will_ , Sybil thinks.

~

Questions become a large part of their conversations, and Karolina can’t find her footing when the implicit rule of ‘not asking’ stops working.

~

The people around her chatter and laugh. Sybil crosses her legs and watches the sky, periodically adding something to the conversation. She has no idea what she says as the words slip past her mind, but it doesn’t matter: her company doesn’t care if she listens or speaks, and she doesn’t care for them too.

It’s not about significance or meaninglessness; it’s about filling your mind with other people until there’s no place for that one person.

It doesn’t work.

Sybil sneaks away and almost runs back to the dorms, lowering her head and not looking at anyone. The thought of her classmates noticing the company she spends time with and realizing why she does it even though she dislikes them—it makes her feel shame.

“Have you fallen so low that you hang out with these people now?”

 _Just my luck._ Sybil slowly looks up and purses her lips when she indeed sees Karolina standing in the doors like a watchman, with a frown and not a smile, displeased and not satisfied that Sybil is “disgracing” herself again.

Sybil smirks and slinks closer until they’re inches apart; Karolina tenses and crosses her arms. “And with whom else should I spend my time, dear glorious assessor?”

Karolina rolls her eyes. “I’m sure you have enough wit to find the answer.” She turns away. “Come. I don’t want to make Neha wait, especially because of you.”

Sybil cackles; a sound that would’ve made Karolina scoff and eye her with disdain, but this time she only sighs. Sybil notices a quiver of her lips, but the smile doesn’t come.

It almost did, though.

~

Sybil doesn’t have a heart.

She doesn’t have a heart to forget her, and she doesn’t have a heart in a normal sense since it’s not hers anymore. Karolina has seized it tightly, just as she always does with the things that belong to her or will belong to her. She didn’t guess wrong with Sybil. 

School crushes are rubbish. Sybil promises not to fall for anyone again.

She doesn’t believe she can. Not with Karolina in her life. 

~

Karolina is picky with people.

When Sybil sees her laughing at jokes of some girl, it makes her pause; when she recognizes the girl as one from that company Karolina doesn’t like, she can’t help her scowl.

Everyone can get Karolina’s revaluation, but Sybil can’t.

Raquel claps her on the shoulder. “Your angry side is showing. Not that I’m against it, but you can’t be angry at her for this.”

She shrugs her hand off. “Why not?”

“You wouldn’t let her be angry for the same reason.”

Raquel doesn’t understand, and maybe that’s for the better: no questions, no need to think up lies. Sybil hates lying, but she doesn’t have guts to confess, “I’m a moron, and I like Karolina Novakova.” Still, she can’t help the words tumbling from her mouth, “She doesn’t have the same reason to be angry.”

Raquel narrows her eyes. “And you do?”

At that moment Sybil feels that Raquel sees everything she hides, but there’s no right word to bait her away from the truth. Sybil looks in another direction with a huff, refusing to watch as realization dawns on Raquel’s face.

“Oh god,” Raquel mutters. “Oh god. My bad. Your bad. That’s bad.” She sighs. “Of all the people here…”

Sybil glares at her. “Don’t. I know how stupid this is and don’t need reminding.”

Raquel hums and bends down to her bag, hiding her expression. But Sybil knows what she would read on it.

Pity.

The girl touches Karolina by the arm, and Sybil grips the bottle so hard her knuckles whiten. She squeezes her eyes shut and forces herself to relax until the bottle falls to the ground. If the noise catches their attention, she doesn’t notice as she walks away.

Her throat constricts, and she can’t breathe.

~

Sybil breaks the last implicit rule: she stops bothering Karolina.

~

Dad asks what’s wrong, and Sybil says she’s tired. She laughs at stupid jokes of a boy whose name she doesn’t remember, and Tyler arches an eyebrow, silently probing, “What’s wrong with you?” Sybil continues laughing even as her voice cracks and becomes dull. Raquel avoids looking at her, and she’s thankful for it.

Sybil always manages to be on another side of the room when Tadashi’s in it, and out of the room if Karolina’s somewhere around. 

When they play outside with Alistair and Ellie, sometimes she notices Karolina pausing on the stairs. Sybil thinks she’s imagining things.

She breaks the rules until there’s nothing to break.

~

Sometimes you don’t ask questions because you don’t want to hear the answers.

~

The sun sets down. Sybil lies on the grass, her hands spread apart, and watches as the sky darkens and the stars grow brighter. She should go back before it’s too late or she’ll get into trouble, but Sybil doesn’t feel like moving. The evening is calm, the faraway voices become a background music, and the beautiful mix of yellow and blue colors on the horizon mesmerizes her.

“Are you alive?”

The voice startles her before Sybil notices a figure standing beside. Karolina frowns, but Sybil can read worry in her eyes as she bends down and pokes her in the cheek.

“It’s almost the curfew. Are you feeling rebellious or what?”

Sybil grins. “I always feel rebellious. Even more so when you’re around.”

Karolina rolls her eyes, but she can’t suppress a fond smile this time. She sighs, looking around, and relaxes as the tranquility of the coming night seeps into her too.

“You’ll freeze if you stay like this,” she murmurs.

“Nah. I’m hot like the sun.”

“You’ll catch a cold.”

“Maybe you’ll nurse me back to health then.”

Karolina scoffs. “In your dreams. I don’t want to get ill.”

“So you would take care of me if you didn’t get ill?”

Karolina sends her a dirty glare and stands up, holding out her arm.

Sybil’s eyes widen. She stops breathing for a moment as she looks at the outstretched hand; thoughts swirl in her head, but she doesn’t process them, just lets them settle and quiet down. Sybil sighs with a strained smile. “Of all the people here…”

“What?”

“Who could come for me, I mean.” She blinks. “That’s not what I meant, actually.”

“Did you hit your head?”

“Aye. When I fell from heaven.”

Karolina whirls around and marches off. “Freeze into an iceberg!” she yells back.

Sybil jumps to her feet. “Wait!”

Gracefulness is not on Karolina’s mind as she strides to the dorms with heavy steps, her fists clenched, and it takes some time to catch up to her. Sybil tugs her by the elbow, and Karolina jerks away, her lips pursed and brows furrowed.

Sybil laughs, noticing her blush even in the dim light, and crosses her hand with Karolina’s as she leans forward. “Let’s go eat something.”

“The curfew,” Karolina snaps.

“But I’m hungry.”

She groans. “Oh my god. I’ll give you a snack, just stop pouting like a kid. You look ridiculous.”

Sybil grins. “So you like me.”

That’s not a question.

Sometimes you don’t ask questions because you don’t want to hear the answers.

And sometimes you don’t ask questions because you know the answers.

Karolina inhales deeply but says nothing, only glances now and then at Sybil as she chatters.

~

When Karolina goes back to her room, Neha understands what’s that pleased expression for when she hears a knock on the door.


End file.
